Last week we saw that Proverbs 29:18 gives us the big-picture
orientation of life—forest-and-not-just-tree orientation. Without seeing the forest, we will not see or understand God’s eternal purpose for our lives. Could it be that GOD REALLY MEANT IT when He said, in Genesis 1:26-28, that man was created to 1.) bear God’s image, 2.) rule over the earth, and 3.) reproduce others to fill that earth and make man’s rule permanent—and that is our eternal purpose, our “forest?” I believe that He absolutely did mean it!
The Ship of the Kingdom diagram is an excellent depiction of that vision. We see in that diagram that after the cross, resurrection, ascent into Heaven and then at Pentecost, we have now been delegated the rule of the Kingdom of God here on the earth, just as God indeed intended.
The diagram shows God’s delegation of that Kingdom flowing down from Jesus to man in his three, primary, ruling Institutions—the Family, the Church, and the Civil Government. As we saw last week, the characteristics of Authority, Responsibility and Accountability always accompany Jesus’ delegation of these institutions, but their applications are distinctly different. Today we are going to look at the Family distinctions.
The Family – The family is the only one of the three that has a single leader, who carries complete authority and is totally responsible to God for what happens in that family. That leader is the husband. His wife is told:
“ Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24).
“But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3).
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1).
These verses leave little doubt that the husband is the leader of the family! On the other hand, God tells the husband:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
These are but a few of several portions of Scripture that teach the husband’s individual, personal authority, responsibility and accountability for the Institution of the Family. At Two Edges of the Sword, we summarize that leadership as DECISIVE AND FIRM, as well as simultaneously being LOVING AND COMPASSIONATE!
The husband’s rule is never OVER his wife; it is WITH her; he is simply the final decision-maker, and she is his “helper” as he rules. In Genesis 1:26-28, God’s list of what man was to rule over was exclusively objects, sub-human creatures, as well as activities, but never over other human beings!
However, after the Fall, God confronted Adam, Eve and Satan with what they had done. He then cursed Satan to always appear on the earth as a serpent, crawling on his belly. Then, after adding pain to the woman during the child-birth process, our Sovereign Father God said to Eve: “…your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16).
Here God announced that man would try to “rule over” his wife, when his rule was never over other human beings, while “her desire would be for him;” i.e., she would try to control or lead him! This same word for “desire” is used in Genesis Gen 4:7 when God said to Cain: “…Sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
The Hebrew word for “desire” (teshuqah) used here is used only three times in the Bible; once in Song of Solomon to mean “sexual desire,” and these two times here in Genesis, where it obviously means “a desire to control.”
This means that God has deliberately handicapped mankind with a proclivity for both marriage partners to have an innate desire to unconsciously destroy a biblical marriage! The woman is trying to usurp her husband’s leadership, while the husband is domineering and subjugating the one who was given to him to help him rule! God has purposely designed that the only hope for a biblical marriage is for both partners to become like little children who always say to God,” Yes, Daddy. Whatever You say, Daddy.”
So, a biblical marriage means that the husband loves and leads the family with strong, firm decision-making, always making use of his wife’s abilities, insights, compassion, and sensitivity before he decides the family’s direction. He does not hesitate to say, “Great idea, Dear!,We’lLdo that,” if that is the case, but, as the above Scripture verses clearly teach, the final decision is his to make. All problems in the family are his responsibility and he alone is responsible to God to solve them, by “firmness and compassion!”
This blog posting about the family is but a very brief introduction to the biblical, husband-wife relationship in the family. My book, with the same title as this posting, but some 375 pages long, is a compendium of all aspects of biblical j, family life. That includes definition, purpose, child training, preparation for marriage, finding a mate, meaning of sex, and much more. The book is available free in PDF form by clicking this link, and in book form by request and a nominal fee to cover printing and postage: Copy of Family – 3rd edition.pdf
Next week we will look at our 2nd institutional Weapon For Victory—the Church!
