It is amazing how much more eagerly I recognize the sins of others than I do my own. The sins of my children, my wife, my fellow church members, my employer, and my coworkers I can identify with remarkable perception. Mine? Not so much. I had no difficulty discerning with marvelous insight the offenses that had been committed against my daughter and me in the incident related in last week’s newsletter, but I was completely blind to the murder and bitterness that I harbored…

During the first 44 years after I graduated from the University of Oklahoma, I self-consciously did my very best to serve Jesus Christ—first as a campus evangelist with a para church organization, then as a teaching elder in the church and finally as a conference speaker and author of Christian books.   Thirty-four of those years were spent in Seattle, Washington, involved in three different churches, experiencing all the relational difficulties that church life invariably includes. As I shared last week, in the last…

Last week I shared how my unconscious sin, sin of which I was totally unaware, drove a wedge between my daughter and me. My response was typical of all parent’s natural reaction when revelation comes about our own responsibility in a relational difficulty with a family member: we stubbornly resist that revelation. We mount a desperate defense to somehow rationalize our own sin in order to avoid the cross and remain “alive.” As a result, we face a crucial fork in the road. We…

Last week we discussed the first essential prayer that a successful parent prays: “God, open the eyes of my heart so I can know: 1.) what You are really like, and 2.) what I am really like.” This clear heart-understanding is foundational to building a fruitful, functioning, biblical, parent-child relationship. Some time ago, through a series of circumstances, my married, then-38-year-old-mother-of-four daughter became aware, for the first time, of what she could see had been a long-time perception in her heart—I loved and accepted…

Over the 48 years I have been a parent, I have gone through several shifts in my understanding of the parenting process. For example, I began as a parent in 1969 when my first child was born with really little thought of what responsibilities God had given me in caring for this little one who was now dependent on Jill and me for everything. I was so ignorant I didn’t even know enough to be concerned, let alone worried, that I might not know…

One day when one of my grandsons was about two years old, I watched him deliberately defy his mother’s instructions (my daughter, Ramah). Finally, she very calmly said to him as she picked him up, “Jack, we have to go to the bathroom because you will not obey me.” I watched as a look of utter panic crossed his face and he began to wail as if he were mortally wounded, even be fore Ramah had carried him a step. He knew what “the…

As a substitute teacher in the government school system I am provided with a perfect laboratory in which to study the state of the family in today’s society. I sub in both middle school and high school, “teaching” all subjects. My job description is really to call the roll, pass out the ubiquitous “work sheet,” work all the technical devices successfully (overhead, DVD player, etc.), and, ultimately, keep the kids from killing each other. Of particular interest in the districts where I teach are…

It is established truth among counselors that my self-image, how I see myself, is an immensely important factor in whether or not I live a happy, productive, fulfilling, and satisfying life. The consensus is that thinking positively about myself rather than negatively is a huge step toward achieving that goal. A generation ago, a very popular psychology book designed for the general populace that discussed this issue was I’m OK, You’re OK. The author used a technique called transactional analysis to help the reader…

An occupational hazard for those of us who are Bible teachers is that we unconsciously have a very difficult time accepting the fact that we neither understand all spiritual truth, nor have we as yet realized all the Lord has for us to experience. Deep down, pride keeps us from really believing that we, those who teach others, still have a lot to learn ourselves. We truly do “see in a mirror dimly” (1 Corinthians 13:12), and we don’t know it. This presents a…