Last week we concluded with what I believe are two of the three indications that I am learning to walk by faith and not by the unconscious
performance addiction that is always lurking in the shadows to grab me. Those first two indications that I am doing so are:
1. I am learning to live by hearing, and then doing, what my Heavenly Daddy is telling me to do in my heart, like a little child.2.
2. I am learning to “walk in the light” transparently together with other little children.
I believe the third evidence is:
3. I will be a functioning, contributing member of a participatory church with other little children.
How do I find a church that allows, even teaches, this concept? Paul’s mention in the Bible of this New Testament habit of meeting is invariably enmeshed in the church’s experience of the Holy Spirit’s manifestation gifts of tongues, prophecy, healing, deliverance, etc. This is off-limits today to our evangelical, cessationist brothers, of course. They believe that all manifestation gifts have ceased, so you will hear nothing from them about how the original churches functioned naturally, spontaneously and unconsciously (NSU) as they handled these gifts. They aren’t remotely interested!
Furthermore, Paul himself was not even thinking about instructing successive generations, or even the current one, on a NSU church structure that was “just happening!” Biblical authorities agree that there is only one verse in the Bible that gives us any indication of what this NSU church looked like at church gatherings. It is 1 Corinthians 14:26: “How is it then, brethren? Whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification.”
Notice Paul makes no attempt to try to get the Corinthian readers to POSSESS themselves these contributions to church meetings; only how to SHARE them! They were already experiencing them, NSU, as these church members just lived their daily lives.
Some years ago, just after we first moved to Spokane, Jill and I happened upon the only, self consciously, pastor-less, house church experience we ever experienced. A group of faithful Christians had been instrumental, years ago, in the founding of a now long-established Presbyterian church, and, until recently, still made up a large portion of its leadership. However, they suddenly found themselves churchless!
The church’s denomination transferred an extremely liberal pastor to be the head of this church, and he cleaned house! These mature, solid believers, were told: “Relax! See you on Sunday, seated in your place in the pews”
So, they decided to bail on what they had considered their “lifetime church,” and they were continuing to meet together themselves, rotating between homes each Sunday. They were all older, with adult children who had families of their own. The youngest of these house church mavericks was in his late-50s and called himself our “youth leader!” Other friends joined them, so the group grew to about 10-12 older couples.
Jill and I were invited to go by a good friend who had just lost her husband to cancer shortly after they had begun to attend. We discovered that they had a couple of excellent pianists, an ex-worship leader, communion every week, and a meal after the service. About 4 or 5 guys would sign up on the “speaker’s list” to speak at the gathering when they had something from the Bible to share. It worked beautifully!
I absolutely loved this church, and looked forward to going every Sunday, and we were welcomed and warmly received. We attended for a year and a half, and I don’t recall missing a single Sunday. That would be about 78 weeks, I’m sure I didn’t make them all, but I don’t recall missing a single Sunday.
After 2 or 3 months of becoming a full-fledged, faithful member, I discovered the speaker’s list, and signed up to share with the other men who felt they had something to share with the group. When my time came I shared a full-on, gospel oriented “grace-alone” message. It was very warmly received by everyone. Jill and I were pumped! It looked as if we had found a wonderful church home!
I spoke another 3 times, over a year and a half with a dramatically increasing lack of enthusiasm each time. My message of a gospel of grace that is actually “Trust and Trust More” and NOT “Trust and Obey” was very uncomfortable to lifetime church members who had never heard of the performance addiction that has gripped us all, and they were increasingly uncomfortable with each of my speaking opportunities.
I figure I spoke 4 times in 18 months, or about once every 12 weeks, hardly “trying to take over,” as it was rumored I was doing. After my final message, the leading men of the church met with me and requested that I quit speaking. They loved us and wanted us to continue to come to church, but to just not speak anymore! After much prayer and consideration, Jill and I decided that we wanted to be full participants in our church, told the men, and respectfully left.
We were fine with that. At the time, I didn’t understand clearly that the church was resisting their initial, personal exposure of their own performance addiction, and that is really difficult for us all
Yes, we are all on this same journey, and I believe the best way to face and beat this addiction to being “good” and “right” is to know: 1.) I am a little child, just doing what my Daddy tells me in my heart to do. 2.) I do so while walking transparently and fully “in the light,” with my brothers and sisters, 3.) As a member of a fully, participatory church with all contributing!
As these three characteristics become true in all our lives, we will be joining this century’s “Children’s Crusade,” destined to tear down the Gates of Hell!
