As I checked my favorite news aggregator one morning this week, I came across an article that began with this sentence: “The nuclear family must be abolished in favor of a ‘feminist future,’ says one feminist writer.”
The article continued with, “In an article posted on Vice News, feminist writer Sophie Lewis proposed replacing the traditional family with a shared ‘surrogacy’ model in which ‘the labor of making new human beings is shared among all of us, ‘mother’ no longer being a natural category.’”
So, the solution for the sad state of affairs which has led to a “patriarchy” is to become a “matriarchy!?” Make no mistake—Lewis is expressing what is Satan’s goal today—to continue on the current trajectory of destroying the traditional family, because it is the bedrock of the formerly Christian foundations of our country.
Today, many Christian wives are either delaying having children and then have only one or two, or they have none at all. They have succumbed to the siren song of pursuing a career outside the home by, ironically, seeking fulfillment being the helpmate for a boss who is not her husband, rather than for her husband, as God intended.
But are they finding the fulfillment they are seeking? The end of the article includes this statement: “Binge drinking among American women without children has doubled in just over a decade… A study by Columbia University found that, ‘More than four in ten (42 percent) of childless 30- to 44-year-olds were having five or more drinks on any given occasion last year – compared to a fifth (21 percent) in 2006,’ reports the Daily Mail.”
The bottle is no substitute for the true fulfillment that can only come from doing what God has created a woman to do: to reflect God’s image, to be her husband’s helper in his ruling task, and to reproduce by bearing children.
This week, while engaged in thinking about and writing this blog posting, I was struck by a classic example of society’s idea of what constitutes successful careers for today’s American women. I was watching three women on a political talk show on TV. The moderator and two politically accomplished guests, one a Democrat and the other a Republican, were engaged in heated discussion.
They would often all talk at once, all very opinionated, shrill, loud, and with phony smiles pasted on their faces. I know at least one of them, a divorcee, has small children at home. She is a well-known, very accomplished success at what she does, but I wonder if, deep down inside, she secretly longs, maybe unconsciously, to be fully involved with her children at a home that she now rarely inhabits.
She probably thinks, however, that it would also mean being stuck there all day changing diapers and cleaning toilets, as the culture is telling us. Nothing could be further from the truth!
The Bible teaches us that within the three-fold purpose for women, the possibilities for them to express all the talent and gifts that God has given them are practically limitless, while still faithfully fulfilling that dominion mandate.
Each of the following Bible passages is a foundation stone for properly relating to one’s husband, a necessity for a wife as she fulfills her calling. Each deserves a posting of its own, but I will make a brief comment about each, letting the word of God address today’s culture, and conclude next week with the coup de grace .
- Ephesians 5:22-24: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
This is the foundation of everything a woman does in the home. Notice the wife’s submission is in everything, just as unto the Lord Himself. He, on the other hand, is to love his wife absolutely unconditionally (as the verses following teach) even to his own detriment, just as the Lord loves the church and died for it, and then to lead her in the same manner with strong firm decision-making. A Christian woman has no trouble submitting to and honoring or respecting Jesus’ love and leadership; she is to do the same thing with her husband’s
- 1 Peter 3:1, 2: “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
“But what if my husband does not love and lead me like Jesus would; what if he’s selfish and is out for only himself?” You still are to submit to him, not as a doormat, but as a wife who firmly and confidently submits to him “without a word.” If conditions become too intolerable to remain (i.e., physical abuse), never manipulate, argue or threaten, but speak truth to him by telling him you love him and want to be his helpmate, but he is not providing the love and leadership that makes that possible. You are then free to leave him until he gets help, but you are not free to divorce and remarry without obvious biblical grounds. 1 Corinthians 7:10, 11).
- 1 Peter 3:3, 4: “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
This is the exact opposite behavior of the three participants I saw on the political talk show. There was no “gentle and quiet spirit” to be found anywhere on that show. When women take a man’s role, they exhibit the male spirit of a leader—strong, competitive, and confrontive, when necessary. That is certainly not the “gentle and quiet” spirit of a submissive woman, “which is very precious in the sight of God.”
- Titus 2:3-5: “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior …. They are to …train the young women to love their husbands and children, …and be workers at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
There is enough material for several years’ worth of women’s Bible studies in these verses. Exploring how to be “workers at home” would lead directly to the next passage, Proverbs 31:10-31, which opens up a whole cornucopia of possibilities of what that could entail. We will deal with that next week.
My book, The Family, God’s Weapon for Victory, is a compendium of biblical truth about the family and deals with this topic in great detail. It is available under “Products” on this web site.